Dead Originality
The Last Poem
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by:  Joe Mangini and Josh Dober

This is the last poem we will ever write
It sounds kind of scary, but no need to be afright
this is the last poem we will keep after college
hopefully we'll be learning a lot of knowledge
I've already decided what my majors will be:
girls, music, beer, pizza, and partying
Mangini the whole picture you don't see
There's more to college than just partying
I know there's more to the Rock that meets the eye
because all along I've just wanted to be a good guy
good guy aka beer-addict aka porn-addict aka bum
it's what's inside that counts if ya know where I'm cumming from
So we started on our last journy (I regret)
And of course we climbed into our private jet.
We were greeted by our pilot Dwight the rat
I said I think you need a diet rat, you're fat, nice hat,
"Thanks." said Dwight in delight, "but no thanks."
"before we take off, I'd better refill all the fuel tanks"
As he left we heard a yoy and a MM-ha ya dope
It was our friend big Myron aka "The Cope"
He said I'm your guest passenger for today
I said I thought this jet was supposed to be a private getaway
Just then Dwight came back in and said, "I have a surprise for you"
he unmasked his fus and it was Mr. Magoo
Magoo aka Neilsen said I'll be your pilot if you please
He had the startling smell of chocolate cream cheese
Neilsen unmasked himself again and it was the Cadsbury Bunny
he started hopping around the plane, but it wasn't funny
Myron said yoy bunnies can't fly a plane
to believe a thing like that -yoy- you must be insane
so Cope took over and got us in the air
no thanks to that fake-fussed Cadsbury Hare
Dober went to the camode to flush 3 times
because of the load left there from Cadsbury's cream cheese slime
In the bathroom Dober unmasked himself
he became D.D. aka Big-E aka "the Biggest Elf"
he came out of the john decked out in red and green
Mangini was astounded by the sight of the scene
The Big Elf tackled the bunny and pulled off its fus
it turns out the bunny all along really was just...
Aaron Smith, not the Steeler, not Jerod's brother either
just another salesman in disguise for this Easter Season
Mangini tugged at Big Elf's fus to see who it was underneath
Big Elf just screamed "ouch!" and there were tears down his cheeks
"Which one of you is Dober!," cried out Mangini over and over
Just then Myron pulled off his mask and it was Josh Dober
So Dober, Mangini, and the Big E and Mr. Smith
all shared some wed and life was a jiff
"just one little problem," said Elf, "who's flying this thing?"
"it looks like we're losing altitude and we're losing a wing!"
Dober aka Myron said the autopilot's failing.
heaven help us now everyone else was bailing
Dober jumped out to fix the dangling wing
Mangini screamed as Dober kareened
As he fell he gave up his last testimony
He removed his fus and he was Dom Marchioni
Mangini you're in second plaaaaacccee...
Splat!!!!! that fellow would no longer even have a face
his final words put tears in Mangini's eyes
2nd place omy what a fortunate surprise
Just Then Mangini saw a speck in the sky
It was Ryan Brooks that funky guy,
Ryan threw off his fus in disgust
He suddenly turned into Just--
in Flowers, he said what's up Chuck
My names not Chuck its Fluk
Barry Melrose Fluk X 3
Melrose suddenly transformed into Nathaniel Hawthorne
The bowling mechanic not the salesman or transdentalist
Hawthorne's face exploded and it was Norm,
McDonald who raised up his fist
Suddenly Norm started lurching like a leech
His face became detatched and it was Taga
He proclaimed himself "King of Ding" but couldn't reach
his rip cord to activate the chute so I tossed him some Keesh
He grabbed a hold of the Keesh and oiled up his rip cord
then he whipped out his pumpkin and it looked like a ghourd
he bashed the parachute with the ghourd 'til it activated
but it was too late, for his blood had quagulated
I'll save you, I know CPR said Mangini
He pulled off his fus and became Hasselhoff in a bikini
he jumped out the plummeting plane, did a summersault in mid air
took out a mirror and combed his hair.
Hasselhoff turned into Larry Byrd the bird not the hoops man
he flew down and grabbed the dying Taga in his hand
as Taga died, Larry Byrd the bird just cried
Mr. Smith removed his fus all by himself inside
the plane that couldn't be saved
no body knew Smith's dark mystery
who he really was, he'd take to the grave
'cause under his fake fus...he was
Josh Dober the man not the boy
He said if Myron was here he'd say "double-yoy!"
As this plane sinks to its final resting plus
I need to reveal my final fus.
Dober pulled off his fus and it was just
Larry Johns the plumber not the salesman
Johns said the jokes on you because
I'm really...Chris Rugh!!! X 2

Copyright 2004.