Dead Originality
Twas the Night Before Turkey
Sound Bytes
Merged Efforts
My Thought Spot
Hero of Words
Favorite Rock Bands
Musical Applications
String Theory

by:  Joe Mangini

Twas the night before Turkey and all through the store,
the customers stared at us in an uproar.
Raiding the lingerie section for Valerie,
with not much luck on my short salary.

So the quest for the panties i'll be giving my girl,
bombed out Marshall's so we gave TJ Maxx a whirl.
No such luck but for a mere excess of thongs,
my Val-gal doesn't wear those, plus the sizes were wrong.

So what size is she, a medium or small?
and would she wear see-through or crotchless at all?
Despite my lack of success i was hopeful,
so we drug our broke asses to Barnes and Noble.

Nothing much there unless she likes books,
but in the naughty section once again we got looks.
So what could i get for my girl just for fun?
The answer was simple, we'll go to Pier 1!

Pier 1 was a bust unless you count that cock,
twas the rooster of wood that was also a clock!
Well that wouldn't do, what about this glass head?
I give you head i said and Drew said how bout i give you my fist instead?

So the night was in shambles at Waterworks Mall;
i wish i'd grabbed Val's number so i could give her a call.
But all was not lost on this Turkey's Day Eve,
I know she will call me, i truly believe.

As Turkey Day nears i keep thinking of Val,
I miss her so much that it's feeling like hell!
I could have helped out with the meal chopping celery,
but i'd rather be with you, my girlfriend Valerie!

Happy Turkey to all and to all a good triptophan buzz!

Copyright 2004.