Dead Originality
Tiffany Hubert Was Gonna Get Pied
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By:  Joe Mangini

tiffany hubert was gonna get pied

but it was too late

she couldn't run

she couldn't hide

she couldn't duck in time from that pie


oh my

her pride

her ride

a glorified site which can't be denied

the day that boobs got pied


the bandana and cowboy hat

the sound when the pan hit splat

the footprints of pie coming off of their shoes

these were the signs they would soon find out the bad news


the risk of this thrill that they choose

that this pie incident might leave a bruise

but in that car would she no longer cruise

for these stains of confection they must pay their dues


a photo is a priceless magical thing

a thousand words can’t say what just one pie can bring

a tear to an eye and a fear in her heart

that pie sailed higher than Alex out of a shopping cart


forever she would scar

it’s too bad for her car

that egg-based whipped-cream eats away paint

one day she’ll look back

on that pie-attack

and pull a Big Taga, and suddenly faint

Copyright 2005.